TIK TOK ON DA KLOK LOLOLOLOL OMG U GUYZ IM LIEK SO WASTED AND ~EDGYOMG ;D

I also really hate "Easy Breezy" by Utada Hikaru simply because she's amazing and I KNOW she does WAAAAAAAAAAY better than that on a regular basis. "I'm Japanesey?" Really, bb? I love you and your weird lyrics, but that's just too much. :\

Aaaand pretty much anything by Taylor Swift or Daughtry makes me see red.

But I would totally listen to any of them for 24 hours straight for, say, a hundred million. A million. Or just a thousand. Heck, a hundred would be fine, too. I'm a college student; the hell if I'm gonna turn down easy money.

...DAMMIT NOW I HAVE KESHA STUCK IN MY HEAD. D: BRB, going to wash it out with "Body Language." Again.

...Y'know, I think I would. I'm a wishywashy agnostic and would pretty much kill to know whether or not there really is some sort of higher being or an afterlife, so if I was guaranteed to come back I think I'd go for it. On the other hand, if there IS an afterlife and it's shitty for everyone regardless of how they lived their life, knowing really wouldn't be worth it, would it?... And if there really IS a God, and I find out that everything I believe in is wrong by his/her/zir standards, then what? Do I keep my own standards for what's right or do I give them up because they're wrong according to the being that created standards in the first place? It's like that whole argument between Socrates and Euthyphro, when they were discussing whether something was pious because the gods said so, or if the gods said so because it was pious.
So would you think for yourself? Would you follow the being that knows better? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

This is deep shit, yo. :B

Oh, and on a less philosophical note, I think I'm gonna change my major to history.

( SPOILARS )

Also, whyyy is it so much harder to find spoilers for this than Days when it came out? D:

So I watched Princess and the Frog! :D

( MOVIE SPOILARS )

TL;DR version: Disney? You still got it. And, um, remember Ella Enchanted?

...I forgive you.


Aaaand I watched the opening movie for BBS.

...THIS GAAAAME OMFG

Happy 2010! I've been too busy to come up with some resolutions beforehand, so here's some I just thought up:

1) Straight A's. CAN THIS BE DONE? Because I want priv housing junior year likewhoa.
2) DRAW EVERY SINGLE DAY. I've done this for the past two, maybe three years. Is it helping me improve? ...I can't really tell, so probably not. But it certainly isn't hurting.
3) ASSERTIVENESS. YOU STILL FAIL AT THIS HARDCORE. FIXITFIXITFIXIT because I hate being shy. ASDLKFJHSLKHF
4) Figure out what I want to major in and go for it. I'm really starting to have some doubts about majoring in English, but I'm starting to favor history a little...
5) When I was a kid I learned about a Bible verse that said something along the lines of "Whatever you do, put your all into it." So basically no more half-assing anything; give everything everything I've got.

A'ight, 2010. BRING IT, YO.

BTW, I'm totally pronouncing this year "twenty-ten." It sounds so futuristic. 8D

The music. ;_;

Aaaand I can't help but hope that the very end is a kind of nudge saying "KH3, bitches!" 8D

...So I didn't get PatF tickets.

But.

I got.

A Sony reader.

For Christmas.

...

OOOOOOMMMMMMFFFFFGGGGG I CAN HAS JOHN GREEN AND TERRY PRATCHETT AND ALL THOSE OTHER AUTHORS I'VE BEEN MEANING TO GET AROUND TO READING BUT HAVEN'T BECAUSE BOOKS TAKE UP SO MUCH DORM SPACE AND GOD FORBID THEY PUT A BORDERS IN BUTTMONKEY, TENNESSEE.

I CAN HAS THEM. ALL OF THEM.

...MOST OF THEM.

IN MY POCKET.

8D

Finals: OWNED
Christmas Shopping: Done except for presents for my sister and brother-in-law, both of whom I won't get to see until Tuesday anyway. I have an idea of what to get for my sister, but not her husband. a;dlkfj I HATE SHOPPING FOR MEN.
Internet: FINALLY WORKING. For now, anyway.
Weather: Um. Jesus Christ.

We have winds up to 49 MPH and at least eight inches of snow so far. It's supposed to stay like this until ten tonight, so CABIN FEVER, HO!
It's still taking some getting used to, what with being back home and all. After studying so much for finals it just feels weird to relax. Whenever I would read or draw back at my dorm, I always had a sort of guilty feeling at the back of my mind because I knew I could be using my time for something more productive, but now that I'm on break... Eh.
I've been killing some downtime (especially now that I can't even leave the house) by replaying FFX and X-2. X because X-2 made me miss Tidus, turn-based battles, decent dialogue, and insanely-awesome-epic stories; X-2 because X makes me miss ATB and I WANT MY MASCOT DRESSPHERE, DAMMIT. :P So far I just got to Moonflow in X and gave the stolen sphere to the Youth League in X-2.

...Y'know, it's been, like, four years and I STILL haven't gotten halfway through FFXII. xD

And lastly OH MY GOD I HAVE NOT SEEN PRINCESS AND THE FROG YET AND IT IS KILLING MEEEEEEEE. I asked for tickets for Christmas, though. We'll see how that goes. 8D

Yikes! I haven't updated in a while, have I? Fail.

Thanksgiving break was great and I want winter break NAAAAAOOOOOOO. I dunwanna study for finals. Dx

21080 / 50000 words. 42% done!
Yeah, okay, fine. I failed NaNoWriMo, quitting before even getting half-way finished. UGHHHH
But! That's 21080 words that I DIDN'T have down before, so... Yay?

In other news, I am addicted to Lady Gaga likewhoa. She's such a freak, I can't help it. ♥

RE: Latest episode of Glee

I cried.

I ADORE this show like whoa. It's just so completely over-the-top and shamelessly ridiculous and cliché that I just. Can't. Help it. Especially when it goes and spends a full episode being stupid and suddenly BAM! SRS MOMENT OMG. And every single time I think "There is no feasible way I could possibly love Sue more than I already do," they go and pull something... Well, not quite like what they did this time, but even so. She is just. So. GodIlovethatwoman.
And huzzah for them finally focusing an episode on someone who isn't Rachel, Will, or Quinn! :D

Meanwhile, back in NaNo Land...

DREAM SEQUENCE HECK YES.

19559 / 50000 words. 39% done!

Thanksgiving Break this weekend!

Guys.

I just killed a little kid.

In my novel.

And I feel horrible about it.

...D:

Technically two kids, though I wrote that one was just a very small body. I think the description was vague enough that it could've just been a little monkey or something that just randomly happened to run in during the massacre.

Yeah. I'm gonna go with that.

...I got, like, a thousand words out of it though. And now Felix has a FANTASTIC reason to hunt Raum down and rip him a new one, even though they'll eventually be on the same side. So it was totally worth it...

14857 / 50000 words. 30% done!

Okay, no it wasn't. But editing is for December.

It's weird. During the week I'm dying for the weekend to get here, but on the weekends I want to be in class. In high school I was all about Fridays, but that was back when I lived in Oklahoma where there was stuff to do in town. But here in Buttmonkey, Tennessee? Not so much.
I'm hoping to meet up with my mom over in Nashville this weekend, though. And if not, I'll at least see her next week when I go home FOR THANKSGIVING BREAAAAAAAAAK 8D OMGYESFINALLY

I'm getting together with some friends tonight to play mau. We haven't done that in a while, especially since work and mid-terms and everything are really starting to pile up. Should be fun. :)

AND LOL, GUESS WHO'S STILL RUNNING EMBARRASSINGLY FAR BEHIND ON NANO?

8994 / 50000 words. 18% done!

...Me! 8D
I'm planning to get at LEAST 2K down before I go to bed tonight, meaning I should probably study Civ and that Jesus biography, like, um... Right now. Looks like I'm gonna be making good use of Write or Die later.

14 days until Thanksgiving Break!

I AM SO READY FOR THIS WEEKEND OMG


Aaand here's quick update before I hit the hay:

7609 / 50000 words. 15% done!

Yeah, running a bit behind. But I can catch up this weekend. Today was pretty nutty. xD

16 days until Thanksgiving Break!

Go away, Adam. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF THIS CHARACTER. I just wanted to throw him in and introduce him and throw him back out because he's really not that important until much, much later. I just wanted to establish that he was there, good looking, and another object of Evy's endless affections. That's it. And I can't think of how to write him out of this scene. a;sdlkfj
He's had, like, two lines and I hate him already. :|
And he's sort of sexist too. God, Evy, why do you even like hi-

...Oh yeah.

And wow, why did this entire chapter diminish into teenagers obsessing over who likes whom? Ick.

4052 / 50000 words. 8% done!

There is a strong slight chance that I'm going to have some sort of personality disorder by the end of the month. Just a head's up.

But at least now I know how to use whose and who's.

19 day till Thanksgiving Break!

So, um, one of my characters is hardcore crushing on another one of my characters.

...I did not foresee this.

2694 / 50000 words. 5% done!

I'm honestly surprised how smoothly this is going. Of course, it's still the weekend and this is only the first day, but it's not that bad. Though I've been warned that the first week has everyone fired up but the second is MURDER.
Even so, I'm still excited. I mean, I haven't even had to resort to someone going "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I didn't hear you." and the other dude repeating himself and the first guy going "No, I still didn't catch that. What now?" like fifty times...

Yet. 8D

This small piece of productivity was brought to you by Randomly Suicidal College Wireless Internet for constantly dying so I can't procrastinate.

Also, FUN FACT: "Jai ho" is Hindi for "may you have victory." It's also the name of one of the most insanely catchy and dance-worthy songs ever.

Happy Halloween, all.

HOT DAMN NANOWRIMO AT MIDNIGHT! 8D

21 days until Thanksgiving Break.

EDIT: So it's officially begun. Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have started Slumdog Millionaire forty-five minutes ago. xD
EDITEDIT: OMFG THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER. Just when I think I couldn't love it more EVERYONE STARTS DANCING. <3 I. JUST. OMFG. This is MY FAVORITE EVER. 8D

...Okay, now to that novel. xD
EDITEDITEDIT: Great, now I don't want to write my story because OMG THIS MOVIE. THIS. MOVIE.

( What I wrote. LMAO what is this I don't even... )

THE SCREEN STARTED FLASHING RED WHENEVER I PAUSED OMG. D:

I am SO pumped for Sunday! I'm probably going to fail miserably at this, but still. Just one more day!

22 days till Thanksgiving Break.

NANOWRIMO STARTS SUNDAY OMFGGGGGGGG

I've gotten really far on my outline. I've written the title and... Yeah, that's as far as I've gotten. I'm thinking about maybepossiblyidk doing a fanfic since I've had a plotbunny for a KH one in my head for, like, three years now. But I reallyreallyreally want to do an original story because I love my OCs so much and they're so neglected as it is andandand--

This is my first year and I'm starting off FANTASTICALLY. 8D I will be nothing short of ecstatic if I get 1K down, not gonna lie.

God, how I wish this was the worst of my problems. xD

26 Days till Thanksgiving Break. I MISS MY DOGS. D:

SO…

Um…

Yeah, I dunno. I feel like I should update. xD

I’ve been really up-and-down lately, like one minute I’ll be nice and content with who I am and the next I’m depressed as hell and hating myself. Seriously, for the last three weeks I just can’t figure myself out. I’ve been sort of shutting people out and just keeping to myself, and while I’ve always been shy, it’s never really been this bad. And the more I think about it the more emo I get, and it just gets worse and worse until I actually start crying, to which I can only say, “Um, WTF. You’re not in high school anymore. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”
I’ve always had this huge fear of rejection, which is stupid because I’m pretty sure no one really thinks about me that much. I used to literally OBSESS over what other people might think of me to the point where I finally just forced myself to think of other things. I literally had to think to myself, “Okay, ENOUGH” and jump on another thought train, and this method worked pretty well. I’m still self-conscious, but it’s NOWHERE near as bad as it used to be.
And now that I’m venting a bit, I think I know what the problem is: I refuse to be myself around other people. And, well, it’s not really difficult to understand why when I’m an agnosticmaybethingamawhat at an all-Christian college.
And might I add that I wouldn’t even be in this little predicament if I would, gee, I dunno, BE MYSELF around other people. Especially my parents.
But I’ve already bitched in another post on why I can’t do that to my parents… Well, okay. I could but it wouldn’t end well. It’s just easier to be who they want me to be, and I can save my real self for my friends.
But being here is kind of like being around my parents all the time with none of my real friends around. And I have a hard time making real friends here- not because people here are unfriendly, far from it- but because I refuse to be me. And if they like the front I put up, it just can’t last.
I’ve been reading up on shyness and one way to overcome it seems to be simply realizing that most people probably don’t hate me as much as I hate myself. In fact, the vast majority probably don't give a damn and that's actually somehow sort of comforting.

But seriously, I’m writing Dear Abby or something. This crap is annoying. :|

…So yeah. *mops up all the emo* To make up for all this mess:

PUPPIES! 8D

Dear Kingdom Hearts Series,

Phuck you guys. I hate this series forever. :|

Just watched the saddest scene in Days in English and actually fully understands it now and will probably never be happy again ever,
Ayume

P.S. Ice cream! D: Ohgodohgodwhyyyyyyyyyy ;_; *sobsobsob*

Sorry for the lack-of-updateness. College has been keeping me busy. Ughhh, I can't wait till Thanksgiving Break!